Welcome to the Four Steps of Storying Series!

“Storying” is the ability to create stories (or any content where “meaning” is relevant) intuitively and spontaneously. It is a basic skill that is useful in parenting, educating, leading and whenever we wish to communicate more effectively. The four steps of Storying are: Attention, Affection, Approach and Allowance.

  1. Step One: Attention - where we “softly” attend to everything in our world

  2. Two: Affection - where our heart guides us along the “golden thread”

  3. Step Three: Approach - where we engage our will and do something brave

  4. Step Four: Allowance - where we let go and let the magic happen

During the month of March, we took up Attention - specifically “Soft Attention”. In April we focus on Affection, May will be Approach and in June, we will conclude with Allowance. Lessons take place every Tuesday evening at 9PM Eastern on Facebook Live and Instagram Live.


“Soft Attention” is an ancient skill ready for modern application. It is a powerful option for people old and young to boost focus in a distracted world.

Below are the three live interactive videos where David and Meredith discuss attention spans and how to use this new skill. Enjoy these videos plus accompanying protocols and exercises you can try yourself!

This is a recording of Part One in the series of Facebook Live and Instagram Live videos. In this first part, we focus on defining “Soft Attention”, why it is important and identify its benefits. There are three exercises describe:

  1. A body awareness exercise designed to help identify what paying “soft attention” feels like. Some experience this as a buzzing feeling, many say it feels calming and grounding. Regardless, the goal is to find a place where we are able to observe the world around us without pre-conceived judgments, ready to see our environment with a beginner’s mind.

  2. The second exercise builds on the first, though now we are able to measure our attention and put 80% on ourselves and 20% externally. This lightens the load and allows us to hone our “apparatus” and because a more efficient and powerful observer.

  3. The third exercise is about shifting our perspective. We all tend to build on old stories - especially our stories about other people. So instead of attending within an already establishing context, we literally shift our perspective and attend our children from there. We focus on their gestures, we listen for key works, we mind their facial expressions and make room for information we might have missed. This results in a more joyful and creative observation rather than one built around our entrenched narratives.

This is a recording of Part Two of the series of three videos. This second part focuses initially on defining “Soft Attention” and exploring its benefits and experience. There was ample room for questions including answers to the following:

  1. What is the difference between “soft” and “hard” attention?

  2. Can you give examples of its usage in transforming mundane activities?

  3. How do you use soft attention without words, especially when consoling a young one?

  4. How quickly can you change your hard attention into soft?

This is Part Three of “Paying Soft Attention” where we focus on how to bring the skills to our children. These include:

  1. Modeling the process without comment - just follow the protocol and let your children see how it affects you

  2. Model the process and then tell them stories about the effect it has on your life

  3. Tell them stories about how “Soft Attention” works - like the Windward Ho story about Polly in Cloud Cuckooland

  4. Enroll them in the course below

We also answered some clarifying questions around age appropriate approaches and well as the role of empathy and how to connect but maintain boundaries.


“Heart Thinking” is a navigation skill where we attend to the sensations in our heart to know the “right” way to go - not only with storytelling, but the entirety of our lives.

Below are the interactive videos and protocols associated with Step Two: Affection.


Paying Soft Attention Free Course for Kids

In an overly saturated and stimulating world, we are all easily overwhelmed and distracted.  Where should we focus our attention?  How can we focus with so much competition from media, noise, flashy colors and advertisements wherever we go?  "Soft Attention" is an ancient skill used for hunting, gathering and gauging the weather.  It is time for us to re-learn this skill so we can navigate a media dense environment like a ranger navigating the jungle: efficiently, effectively and joyfully.  

In this one hour course, David and Meredith worked with children through chat to demonstrate and practice the lessons. This recorded course is free, but password protected. So sign up by following the prompts. No credit card necessary!

This interactive video was recorded on March 30th. Children interacted with David and Meredith through the service’s chat function. Children participants remain anonymous and are not a part of the recorded video.

Add To Cart

We are so glad you've joined us for this video series that we are gladly offering free of charge. We hope to continue to be able to do this in the future, and your voluntary donation - of any amount - will help us to that end! Thank you!